A Halloween Special: But What IS Horror Anyway?

Happy Halloween to all you spooksters out there! I’ve been wanting to take some time out and talk inanely about what “horror” means to me for a while now, and everyone finally rolled their eyes and gestured for me to go ahead. Alex described the concept to me very succinctly a short while ago by saying that “horror is the fear of a loss of agency.” I thought that was an incredibly profound and direct way of looking at what causes the sense of horror and prompted me to get this piece hammered out. If you’ve ever wondered why it was that someone liked a type of horror you think sucks, or if you’re just curious about my thoughts on what makes things scary and why, buckle up. If this isn’t your thing…well it’s only Halloween once a year so buckle up anyway because we’re about to dive in.

51ut2bq3tjkl._sx332_bo1204203200_ 513c4jctmyl

Body HorrorThe fear of our own mortality.

Anyone who is afraid of the sight of blood or has felt squeamish at the thought of how their body truly works will be intimately familiar with this type of horror. Body horror, in essence, is the utilization of humanity’s natural disgust response to affect the reader or viewer in a physical way. When a person flinches as someone is stabbed by a murderer or feel sick to their stomach at the description of a parasitic infestation, they are reacting to a type of body horror. This is one of the most fundamental and easy to access types of fear reactions in people, as there is very little build up required. Describing the “gory details” can force people to react, even without a great deal of empathy for the characters, which is part of why this type of horror is so frequently associated with lower quality stories, or if not lower quality, then lower effort.

In her research paper on disgust, “Disgust As An Adaptive System For Disease Avoidance Behavior,” Valerie Curtis states that “Disgust is a fundamental part of human nature.” She points out that Charles Darwin was the first thinker to propose the universality of disgust, and builds upon their reasoning that the feeling of disgust originally arose in order to protect us from parasites and other disease vectors. This idea goes a long way to explain some of the most common themes in body horror. Witnessing bodily torture, parasites crawling under the skin, decaying bodies, these are all common tropes and frequently used within horror to elicit a physical response in the viewer or reader. It’s not hard to make the connection between these “scary” ideas and the fact that they act as disease vectors, that we are programmed to our core with a deep and unavoidable abhorrence for the reminder that our bodies are frail and easily disrupted systems that are keeping “us” alive.

haunting 81pegsyiaml

Paranormal The fear of our lack of understanding

I still remember the first time I was exposed to the idea of solipsism. For those of you unfamiliar with the concept, solipsism is the theory that an individual can only ever be completely sure of their own inner self. At a surface level that seems like a fairly obvious insight, but once the idea is picked at some troubling questions can emerge. How can anyone be sure that what they’re seeing is reality? What evidence do we have that our perception of the world is shared by anyone else? The feeling of uncertainty and dread that tends to follow from an examination of this idea is at the core of what drives paranormal horror.

Humans by our physical nature are restricted to an infinitesimally limited view and understanding of the universe we operate within. Limited to our (fairly poor) senses, we can see a fraction of the colors that exist, smell almost nothing, hear a tiny range of frequencies, and touch only what we imagine to be physical. On top of all that we have a mushy organ that tries to interpret all of this information and build a cohesive narrative out of it. The understanding of how limited and non-comprehensive our experience of reality is can lead to the obvious question of “what are we missing?” It is this question that lives at the heart of paranormal horror. It is the attempt to tap into that sort of fugue state of existential dread at the realization of how much reality we miss as we go through our lives and that if we’re missing so much, there must be something we aren’t even aware that we’re missing. Whether that takes the form of ghosts, demons, or simply a house that really doesn’t like being lived in doesn’t matter as much as the idea behind why these forces are scary. We are unable to experience their true nature and it is horrifying for us to be reminded of our limitations and frailties.

911954 7b31be5c62-63a9-4172-b6d2-79d69e339d177dimg400

Psychological The fear we create for ourselves

I bet you’re thinking that this is a silly way to categorize horror. “All horror is psychological,” you say, “it’s all in your head.” You’re right, but so is everything else and that’s not even what I was going to say, so maybe you should let me finish. The nerve of people these days.

Why is it that so many people, myself included, can much more comfortably read horror than experience it in other types of media? I have an active and vivid imagination, so I can assure you that it is not due to some lack of ability to see horrifying things in my mind’s eye. It has to do with the atmosphere of horror and how that atmosphere is used to affect the person consuming said horror. It is important to note that all horror relies on atmosphere and as such there is always some attention paid to ensuring that atmosphere has horrific elements.Creators within the audiovisual space have a more expansive toolkit, and have the ability to evoke a terror response in a number of different ways. By coordinating different techniques, including auditory cues and sharp visual jump cuts, creators can trigger the flight or fight response within their viewers in order to cultivate a more subconscious atmosphere for the horror to thrive within. It is these involuntary responses that makes horror movies and games, at least for me, much more physically affecting and difficult to enjoy. In this sense the jump scare and spooky music are acting as a laugh track, placed there to ensure that even someone not paying attention to anything knows “this is the scary part.”

In contrast, horror in literature is stripped of these tools that are always so near to hand in film. Psychological horror in the written word must make careful use of writing technique, prose, and word choice to slowly drip feed the atmosphere to the reader. If done right, the writer can build empathy for the character and their situation, having the horror burrow further into the reader’s mind. There’s no payoff in seeing the “monsters” in The Shadow Over Innsmouth if you hadn’t spent the previous pages of the story exploring the town through the main character’s eyes, whereas a scary prosthetic or animatronic monster can frighten people at any point in a film with the right music and editing. It is the careful push and pull of giving the reader just enough information to lure them in but not so much that the reveal is spoiled at the climax of the book that is so impressive when authors get it right.

41mceocptrl._sx311_bo1204203200_ image (2) (2)

Cosmic HorrorThe fear of our own insignificance

Imagine for a moment there was a world ending asteroid on a collision course with Earth. Nothing can stop it and we can’t get away, but it’s not supposed to hit for months. What do you think the overwhelming feeling would be? I doubt “screaming terror” would be the prevailing emotion. I imagine that most people would describe it with one word, “dread.” Dread at the inevitability of destruction due to something that cannot be reasoned with or understood as a motivated actor. Cosmic horror is the elevation of this event from an act of nature we don’t understand, to a god like consciousness we don’t understand. It is the exploration of the idea that the asteroid has motivations of its own, and chose to head this way, but not for any reason we could claim to understand.

Humans have spent all of our recorded history at the top of what we think of as the food chain here on Earth, but there was a far greater amount of time when modern man was just another species hiding in the dark from predators and struggling against extinction. The idea of a threat to your existence that threatens not out of personal enmity but instead its fundamental nature is one that has a significant amount of historical significance to humans, and it is easy to see that stories recalling this feeling can impact us so deeply to this day. The concept that a Cthulhu or the Worm Gods or Hastur could unintentionally destroy us all on their way to doing something else and not even notice is powerful, frightening, and reminds us of how insignificant we are in the grand scale of the universe. Cosmic horror beckons every time we look up at night and remember that each point of light is a star bigger than we can begin to comprehend.

In conclusion – So why do we do this to ourselves? Why do we seek out things that will haunt and unsettle us in the small hours of the night and come unbeckoned when we finally fall asleep? I can’t speak for everyone who reads horror but I personally view it as a type of desensitization. Similar to cognitive behavioral therapy for mental illness, horror as a genre allows individuals to seek out, explore, and come to terms with both the things they knew they feared and the ones that were bubbling under the surface. “Face your fears” is a common refrain and piece of life advice because it encourages you to stand up to something that frightens you and grow past it, or at least learn how to not let it control you. Horror allows a safe place to do this standing up at whatever pace works best for the reader. If you can’t do one thing that scares you every day, try to read one thing that scares you instead.

Let me know all of the problems you’ve had with this thought piece about what scares us in the comments and thanks for making it this far.

-Will

Our Top 7 Horror Short Recommendations

I bought a jacket this past spring and have been looking at it occasionally with a longing that can only be matched by temporarily separated lovers. As such, you can only imagine my joy when the temperature here in Chicago finally dropped to numbers starting with “4,” and I could put it on. Because this is a review site, I will give my jacket five stars out of five. I loved it and will use it regularly in the future. What this dropping temperature and (awesome) jacket weather really means, though, is that it’s October! Spooky month is finally upon us and with it comes recommendations for horror short stories. I’ve put together a list of short stories and novellas from a variety of places that top my list of the best shorts out there, and I hope you take some time in the dark and grey evenings of this month to seek some of these out and enjoy them. I want to stress before we get going, however, that these are in no particular order and simply sum up some of our favorites here at QTL.

The Colour Out of Space by H.P. Lovecraft

I wanted to start the list strong, so I’ve chosen the horror short that I hold all others up to in comparison. The Colour Out of Space exemplifies and embodies the true core of cosmic horror for me. Taking place on the farm of Nahum Gardner, the story describes the slow descent into madness that the inhabitants of the farm undergo due to a strange meteorite falling next to their well. The single best part of this story to me is the complete lack of “monsters” or any other frightful beings with ill intentions. Lovecraft distilled the essence of atmospheric dread down to its purest form, describing in a languid and predatory style the cascade of small events that start seeming “off” before inevitably leading Nahum and his family on an unstoppable journey to horror and death. It is the very fact that the “antagonist” of this particular story is a meteorite that perfectly sums up the sense of impersonal and unlucky inevitability that the finest cosmic horror creates. The Gardners were not personally targeted by this meteorite, and the effects it causes are not purposeful. Instead, the fundamental nature of the stone is so inimical to life on earth and humans that its simple presence acts as a corrupting influence and brings with it a pure and distinct sense of an “other” that doesn’t just not care that it’s causing suffering, it doesn’t even notice.

Proboscis by Laird Barron

I love when stories decide on a specific theme and explore that idea as deeply as possible. Proboscis is either the story of a man losing his mind or a deeply unsettling revelation as to an aspect of our world better left not understood. Told through a framing device relying heavily on entomology and proboscises, shocking I know, this story features a thrilling psychological aspect that I think elevates it beyond most of the genre. Barron sprinkles the narrative with details that unsettle effortlessly and invite the reader to make connections that may or may not actually be there. The use of insects to poke at the primal disgust that they engender in humanity, and the suggestion that the protagonist is actually losing his mind coalesce and create a bubbling atmosphere of mounting dread and constant unease. While I obviously will not spoil anything in this brief blurb, I will say that the ending of this story is the single most memorable conclusion to a short story I’ve ever read, and it still makes me shiver.

A Song For Quiet by Cassandra Khaw

One of the two entries on this list that is closer to novella-length than short story territory, A Song For Quiet is probably my least favorite of the stories here. I wanted to get that out there because that should help readers understand that when I say I’m including this for one main aspect, it’s because that aspect is so unbelievably good that it nearly erased all my other foibles with the book. A Song For Quiet is on this list due to the sheer weightiness and luxuriance of Khaw’s horrific descriptions. The prose used during the songs Deacon James plays in the narrative is stunning. I was instantly impacted by the sheer terror of what I was reading, the way it was described and Khaw’s choices of words for events. Specifically her ability to describe events that are by their nature difficult to understand and purposefully “Weird with a capital w” is incredibly impressive. This story is one of those tales that makes you want to read the rest of the author’s catalogue regardless of genre. Cassandra Khaw has a way with the horrific that I’m startled and impressed by, and while this is the second of the two current Persons Non Grata stories available, I would recommend starting here with her work.

Procession of the Black Sloth by Laird Barron

This lovely little tale from Laird Barron is probably one of the more haunting stories I’ve read in the past couple of years. Barron fills every sentence with a creeping dread that is impossible to ignore. It follows a modern Pinkerton type investigator as he is sent to a factory in China to monitor the local disgruntled workforce. Unfortunately, there is a little exotic orientalism that seems to drive some of the horror, but a lot of aforementioned dread is built upon the transgressive nature of the protagonist. He is a voyeur through and through, expanding his work into a hobby as he spies on others through his hotel window. In my experience, Barron relies heavily on the lone gruff male stereotype, but this story is the one time I felt that this archetype is analyzed through the horror, instead of being an easy entry point. The protagonist feels creepy, but his need to watch pulls the reader into the mysteries he sees. He’s a bad guy, but the narrative is infectious through his eyes. Barron’s patient execution of the story kept me pulling at the string, needing to know more. He did not rush to reveal the terrible kernel, allowing the mystery and the protagonist’s need to investigate without revealing himself drive the story. I could not pull my eyes away from the page until the last word, and even then I still feel trapped by its trance. In some ways the story itself mirrors the reader’s fascination with the horror, but luckily for us we can’t become the story. We can only be consumed with the terror that the one true way to understand something is to be a part of it.

My Heart Struck Sorrow by John Hornor Jacobs

Here it is. Any of you who have been reading the site lately have probably stumbled on my review for A Lush and Seething Hell, by John Hornor Jacobs. This was my personal favorite of the two stories, and while I will encourage you to read the entire review here, it would be rude not to at least briefly go into why this story hit me so hard. Jacobs manages to infuse a story that is steeped in the terrifying and built to unsettle with something adjacent to wistfulness for a different and more magical time. There was something so powerful in Cromwell’s sense of longing, his need to find out whether the story of Stagger Lee was true, his need to find anything that will distract him or give him a sense of belonging or meaning. The flavor of this story was so piquant and unique, while being so familiar and almost nostalgic at the same time that I was sucked into the riptides of its narrative, completely lacking control or a sense of the time as I struggled to stay afloat. This story ripped me out of the well worn tracks of my day to day life and spat me out somewhere unsettlingly familiar, like going to your childhood home and finding that the furniture is all the same but has been moved around slightly. It’s a feeling I’ve been unable to shake since, and I highly recommend any tales with that kind of staying power.

A Long Spoon by Jonathon L. Howard

I’ll probably be punished by “true” horror fans for including this one on the list, but they’re nerds anyway, so what are they gonna do about it? Nothing, that’s what. More humor than horror and more laugh-inducing than limb-rending, the Johannes Cabal series more winks to the world of horror than explores it, but I can’t help myself but include my favorite tale from that world in this list. Taking place just before the last of the numbered entries in the series, A Long Spoon tells the tale of how Cabal meets Zarenyia, a devil of hell. Not the devil, though they have met on occasion before, long story. After being forced to ask her “nicely” to guide him into the darkest depths of hell, the two embark on a zany and mildly horrifying romp into said dark depths. I am a huge fan of all things Cabal, and these are 32 of the most enjoyable pages I’ve read involving murder, mayhem, and women who are giant spiders from the waist down. If any of that sounds like something you can get into, go read the 4 main series books and sundry short stories and novellas leading up to this, then read it. I know that sounds like a lot, but the Cabal series is one of those palate cleansers that you can read pretty much anytime and have a great experience.

How the Day Runs Down by John Langan

Is it wrong to include a short story that’s actually a series of vignettes in a list about short stories? I don’t think so and anyway I need to talk about this somewhere as it’s just so odd. How the Day Runs Down is a horror short story being told from the perspective of the Stage Manager, a character in Thornton Wilder’s play Our Town. Doling out small-town wisdom and anecdotes about the characters living in this small town as he discusses their successes and failings as the town falls to the living dead, there is a surreal and eminently memorable atmosphere that drips from this story from the first page. It’s even written partly as a screenplay, which creates a sort of hushed collaboration between the Stage Manager and the reader, in that we too know what’s about to happen to these characters and have an opportunity to stop it (or at least it’s shown that the Stage Manager does, when he chooses to). The culpability of watching all the events within the story unfold weighed heavy on me, and made me feel a sense of guilty voyeurism as I, we, did nothing. It was an experience I’ve never forgotten and is one unique to zombie horror at least, if not horror in general. 

And with that we’re done with the list. There are hundreds of incredible stories that didn’t make the cut, and if I missed your personal favorite please let me know in the comments what it was and why you think it should be here. I hope you all have a spookily good October and find exactly the level of terror you’re looking for.

The Top Ten Butts Of Fantasy And Science Fiction

Okay, so it is distinctly possible that I misunderstood the directions for this thought piece. Apparently I am the only person who thinks about bottoms when told to list the “Best ‘Buts’ of Fantasy and Science Fiction.” But we can’t let good thicc content go to waste, so strap in and get ready for an intellectual dissection of booty. In this list, we explore the iconic backsides of the sci-fi and fantasy genres. What makes a butt stand out? Are all butts created equal? Do some rise above the rest to sit in the upper echelon, looking down upon the lesser derrières? The answers to these questions, of course, are “Bodaciousness and impact,” “No,” and “ASS-olutely.” Here’s our list of the best butts the sci-fi and fantasy world has to offer (in no particular order)!

071tf1) Samwise Gamgee (Lord of the Rings) – As soon as we started talking about butts, my mind immediately went to one of the greatest heroes of fantasy, the hobbit who trekked across a country, putting miles and miles of work into shaping what must be a magnificent bubble butt hidden beneath his elven cloak. But not Frodo, oh no siree. All that wasting away from not eating and the pressure of the One Ring does not a round rump make. Samwise, on the other hand, carried Mr. Frodo up a mountain, climbed innumerable stairs, and stomped his way through swampy marshes, all while powered by friendship. His efforts crafted what I can, and do, imagine is one of the finest toned posteriors in all of Middle Earth. Mmmm mmmm, gimme a big bowl of rabbit stew with an extra serving some of those rump-roasted trouser PO-TA-TOES Sam is carrying around! (Also, an extra shoutout to Samwise for being the only person to make both the But and Butts list)

4723312) Dr. Manhattan (Watchmen)Watchmen’s Dr. Manhattan flaunts his blue moon for the majority of Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons’ graphic masterwork. His big, blue butt and…the rest of his blue body (*wink*) are just there through much of the novel, on display for everyone to enjoy. In fact, it’s mildly disappointing when Dr. Manhattan chooses to summon clothing out of thin air, hiding his glorious blue bum from the world. Dr. Manhattan bares it all–not just because he’s ripped, but because he’s beyond the need for clothes. This choice represents the ever-thinning threads that connect him to the humanity he is destined to leave behind. His nudity, though, along with his insane superpowers and the public’s shifting opinion on him, culminates in a heart-wrenching end for Dr. Manhattan’s blue butt. With the HBO show coming up, we imagine many readers will venture into the world of Watchmen for the first time soon, so we’ll avoid spoilers. Come for the blue butt, stay for one of the best stories ever to grace the comic book medium.

81tboqp5v2bl3) Lan Mandragoran (The Wheel of Time) – I don’t think anyone can fight me on this one – Lan Mandragoran has to have one of the hardest, most chiseled, badass asses out there. Do you know what isn’t kind to the butt? Equestrian… Equestrinarianism… Equest… HORSEBACK RIDING. Riding on a horse all day is basically the equivalent of beating your butt into submission until it rises up and can fight a horse. It’s a Rocky montage in which Rocky is your butt, and Apollo is the the saddle/gravity/and horse’s back all rolled into one. And there is no one I can think of in all of fantasy who does more horseback riding than Lan. First off, his horse Mandarb is described as a hulking goliath of an animal which only means that all butt-on-saddle action is more intense. Second off, Lan spends almost every single book riding across the continent either being chased, chasing someone, or racing against time. And there are fourteen books in this sequence. By the end of A Memory of Light, it would not surprise me if Lan’s butt was tougher than his plate mail. He could probably run into battle and simply block sword strikes on his bare keister. Lan Mandragoran’s butt is one of the most capable warriors in a series full of them.

51wkqa3knrl4) Portia (Children of Time) – You want to talk about butts with talents? Asses with aptitude? Proficient posteriors? Cheeks with capability? Keisters with knacks? Butts that can do so many amazing things that it makes other butts look like dumbpoops? Then look no further than the stunning rear end of Portia the spider from Children of Time. Things this butt can do that yours can’t – have full conversations with everyone around her through the use of abdominal paps, literally build a house, forge weapons, create art. Can your butt do any of those things (no a huge poop does not count as any of them, you are gross, sit down)? This incredible lady has a genetically enhanced and specially evolved behind in order to help her survive in a hostile world. Her bottom is straight fire and could give any butt on this list a run for its money. If this was a butt royal, it would be Portia’s that stood victorious on the fields of battle.

81kjbiks-al5) Katara (Avatar: The Last Airbender) – Stay with me here. When you show someone your butt, you’re MOONing them. The moon lends waterbenders their greatest power. The moon is the biggest butt in the Avatar world. If you apply the transitive property a few times in a very accurate, peer-reviewed mathematical process, this means that waterbending is essentially buttbending. Katara becomes one of the world’s best buttbenders as the series progresses, carrying over into the graphic novels that follow. She even leverages the power of the moon to bloodbend at one point. That’s badass…or should I say badBUTT? An honorable mention from the Avatar universe goes to Appa, the sky bison whose tail (a clear extension of the butt) packs a punch and frequently launches enemies into oblivion.

91npjuxxkzl6) Alex Kamal (The Expanse) – We have talked about toned butts, we have talked about buff butts, and we have talked about versatile butts – but what about a perfectly preserved butt? Let me ask you, what is a butt’s greatest enemy? Correct, the forces of time and gravity. No matter how powerful the butt, no matter how intense the training routine, time makes fools of all butts. However, there are those who go to great lengths to minimize their keister strain and keep their butts safe. I am talking about spaceship pilots of course. Adrift in the vast expanse of a space vacuum, a pilot’s butt is kept safe from the ravages of a planet’s mass. Alex Kamal, from The Expanse, is a particularly stunning example of the perfect pampered posterior. Not only has he spent most of his life in space, keeping his butt safe, but he also spends almost all of his time in a gel crash couch that even further insulates his booty from harm. Alex’s butt is like a mint condition action figure, worth even more in its packaging. His butt is pristine, pert, and positively bodacious.

lies-lockelamora-web7) Jean Tannen (The Gentlemen Bastards) – If you’re reading this list, there’s approximately a 100% chance you’re thinking “wow this incredible thought piece has made a cultural contribution so powerful that I am inspired to go home and improve my own butt.” We have all been there. So you get to the gym and are looking at the best exercises to do. After looking for a while, you locate the holy grail of buttcheek toning, the squat. Squats are the king of butt exercises and there is no surer way to take your bottom from zero to hero than squatting all the time. But you know who squats a lot? Thieves. Always squatting on rooftops, skulking through alleys, and creeping through homes while they rob people blind. Thus we get to our next member of the posterior pantheon, Jean from The Lies of Locke Lamora. This man’s walk basically resembles the Kazatsky dance as he just squats his way around town. His ass is so toned he could probably grip a flat wall between his two cheeks and suspend himself in the air just by clenching while he gave his arms and legs a nice rest. Thieves have developed the pinnacle of butt-day workout routines for the gym, and there is no thief more devoted to his work out than Jean.

17372039._sy475_8) Dolores Umbridge (Harry Potter) – First, let’s address the elephant-butt in the room—namely, Dolores Umbridge’s elephant-butt. Yeah, the toad-like Ministry lackey has a certifiably large derrière, but it’s her general disposition that earns her a spot on this list. Umbridge waltzes into Hogwarts and promptly takes over. She makes students who can literally perform magic simply sit and read books (even though we at QTL know that books are their own special kind of magic, right? *eye roll*). She makes her students carve disciplinary messages onto the backs of their own hands as punishment for speaking out of turn or “telling lies.” Oh, and there’s the whole “I’m a wizarding world mega racist” thing. Umbridge both has and is one of fantasy’s biggest butts, and we love to hate her for it.

70946._sy475_9) Falkor (Neverending Story) – Next up is arguably the biggest butt on this list and probably the most awesome of all butts. Falkor is the magnificent white luck dragon from the Neverending Story, and he is 43 feet long, a good majority of which can be considered a butt. Yes, shut up, his entire body is one long butt, this is my butt article and I get to determine what qualifies as a butt and the glorious 40 feet behind Falkor’s head are definitely a butt. I’ve never wanted to hop on a booty as badly as when I first imagined myself in Atreyu’s place, riding the resplendent and dignified Falkor across the landscape of Fantasia. Imagine holding handfuls of the dragon’s fluffy down fur in your hands as you ride through the skies of Fantasia, and I guarantee you’ll come around and agree that this one of the best butts of sci-fi and fantasy.

30693742._sy475_10) Karris White Oak (Lightbringer) – An absolute brutal training regimen and employment as a magical Secret Service agent both mean that Karris White Oak from the Lightbringer series is PROBABLY rocking a serious booty. But, I am not actually sure. Why you ask? Leather. Tons, and tons, of leather. You see, leather is like butt-makeup and when properly applied can make any heinie look heavenly or derriere look devilish. As a member of the Blackguards, Karris (and the rest of the organization) basically spend their lives in so much combat leather that it resembles a gimp suit. She can’t so much as pick up a pencil without the telltale sounds of squeaky, clingy, jetblack cowhide. Even if she wasn’t born with a grade-A bottom, her leathers have probably sculpted her ass into a work of art at this point – serving as a sculptor’s mold that has sat for twenty years. It’s as I always say, fake it until you make it.

40603587._sx318_Bonus Bum: Geralt of Rivia (The Witcher) – Geralt of Rivia has a terrible butt. It’s old, weather worn, severely poisoned, and nothing to look at judging by some of the scenes in The Witcher game series. However, he still almost made the list due to the sheer variety of people, animals, creatures, and magic wielders that have hunted his booty. In every book of the The Witcher series, as well as the games, it seems that someone (or multiple someones) is after his ass. God only knows why multiple sorceresses try, to varying degrees of success, to get on that butt. Kings, Spymasters, Emperors, Bounty Hunters, Archmages, Fey, Undead, Assassins, and more have tried to catch up to Geralt to get a hold of his backside. And let’s not forget the numerous creatures and monsters of The World who try to take a bite out of that booty! And so, despite not making the list as one of the Top Ten Best Butts, Geralt does at least possess possibly the most sought after butt in fantasy.

That’s our round-up–thanks for reading! Any classic butts you think we missed? Want more lists/have an idea for our next one? Let us know in the comments!

The Top Ten “Buts” Of Fantasy And Science Fiction

The science fiction and fantasy pantheon overflows with amazing quotes. The intertwined genres offer heart-wrenching quotes about love, inspiring quotes about courage, uncompromising quotes about hardship, and endless others. At their best, these quotes can profoundly touch the reader and leave a lifelong impact on them. Some of the most impactful quotes I’ve encountered share one notable quality: they include the word “but.” These quotes all build the reader up with a crescendo of anticipation, then pull out the metaphorical rug with a “but” and a revelatory flourish. The “but” is versatile, and it can be used to undercut expectations, give readers hints about the future of the narrative, or make you rethink your stance on a particular character. To prove this, I asked theThe Quill to Live writers to build a list of our favorite “but” quotes, and this is what we came up with. They are in no particular order; enjoy!

17372039._sy475_1) “Oh, yeah. Poor bloke. Brilliant mind. He was fine while he was studyin’ outta books but then he took a year off ter get some firsthand experience….” Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone by J.K. Rowling

Rubeus Hagrid’s description of Harry Potter’s first Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher hosts one of the fantasy genre’s most iconic and prescient “buts.” For those who voraciously re-read the series, it’s a darkly playful nod to the tortured Professor Quirrell’s fate at the hands of Voldemort. To the first-years, it’s an indication that something is…off about him. Hagrid, a loyal but not-so-bright fellow, lends the quote a certain gravitas that makes it all the more meaningful. Young Harry trusts Hagrid, and his instincts are sharp enough to know when something’s amiss. This first interaction with Quirrell and the hints Hagrid drops combine to form a literary moment that sets the stage for the remainder of the series–not everyone is trustworthy, and it’s hard work separating the noble from the wicked in the wizarding world.

mv5bmmnlyzrindctzwnhmi00mzi4lthkztctmtuzmmzkmmfmnthmxkeyxkfqcgdeqxvynzkwmjq5nzm40._v1_2) “. . . Moon-Watcher felt the first faint twinges of a new and potent emotion. It was a vague and diffuse sense of envy–of dissatisfaction with his life. He had no idea of its cause, still less of its cure; but discontent had come into his soul, and he had taken one small step toward humanity.” 2001: A Space Odyssey by Arthur C. Clarke

One of science fiction’s most profound “buts” appears early in Arthur C. Clarke’s 2001: A Space Odyssey. Following Moon-Watcher and his decidedly unevolved band of ape cohorts in the novel’s opening chapters provides a stark contrast from the movie, allowing the ape-community time to breathe and anchoring the novel in pseudo-human history. This “but” signals the ape colony’s ascent to a more elite and less primitive race, laying the groundwork for the millennia-spanning evolutionary space opera to come.

81tboqp5v2bl3) “The Wheel of Time turns, and ages come and pass, leaving memories that become legend. Legends fade to myth, and even myth is long forgotten when the Age that gave it birth comes again. In one Age, called the third age by some, an Age yet to come, an age long passed, a wind rose in the Mountains of Mist. The wind was not the beginning. There are neither beginnings or endings to the turning of the Wheel of Time. But it was a beginning.”The Eye of the World by Robert Jordan

This quote opens Robert Jordan’s The Wheel of Time series and graces the top of the first page of The Eye in the World. It’s responsible for beckoning an entire generation of readers into the fantasy genre. For many, it is a profound quote that speaks to the nature of the story of The Wheel of Time – a cycle that never ends. It just goes on, and on, and on, and never deviates from its protracted course… until now. The “but” shows the reader that they are witnessing something special, something one of a kind. It begs the reader to demand of the book “show me why this time will be different.”

071tf4) “It’s like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger they were. And sometimes you didn’t want to know the end because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, it’s only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass.”The Lord of the Rings by J. R. R. Tolkien

Said by Samwise Gamgee when Frodo loses his hope, this quote speaks to tenacity. The “but” encapsulates the fact that while things might be hard now, the bad times are fleeting. If we just press on and keep placing one foot in front of the other, the dawn will come. This “but” represents rock bottom and a turning point. Although today is a nightmare, tomorrow it will just seem like a dream. This “but” renews the hopes of its readers and shows you that everything is going to be okay. The night is darkest just before the dawn.

220px-the_wise_man27s_fear_uk_cover5) “It’s the questions we can’t answer that teach us the most. They teach us how to think. If you give a man an answer, all he gains is a little fact. But give him a question and he’ll look for his own answers.”The Wise Man’s Fear by Patrick Rothfuss

Rothfuss is known for his delightful prose, but this quote in particular always stood out to us. The line is about wisdom and how curiosity, not the sheer volume of one’s knowledge, is the foundation of a smart mind. The “but” in this instance encourages you to go deeper and think hard about which of the two qualities is better. At the same time, it helps organize the line to convince the reader that curiosity and the promise of future knowledge can be better than knowledge alone.

917and4pjfl6) “Honor is dead, but I will see what I can do.”Words of Radiance by Brandon Sanderson

This is one of our favorite quotes of all time, and this might just be our favorite “but.” Declared by Kaladin right before he does something incredibly badass, this “but” serves to hype up the reader for an explosive climax that approaches at full speed. This “but” is a harbinger of awesome and a shepherd of excitement, transitioning the reader into an adrenaline fueled spot on the edge of their seat.

137) “The last ever dolphin message was misinterpreted as a surprisingly sophisticated attempt to do a double-backwards-somersault through a hoop whilst whistling the ‘Star Spangled Banner,’ but in fact the message was this: So long and thanks for all the fish.”The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams

We have seen a ton of serious “buts” so far, but the “but” can also be humorous. It can serve as a straight man, as it does in this famous Douglas Adams quote, to the ridiculous. In this quote, the “but” serves as a foil to the outlandish scenario of dolphins being hyper sentient space-faring aliens, and their gratitude for all the fish we have given them in one form or another over the years. The “but” is the gateway from the normal to the absurd, the everyday to the ridiculous.

41fcrqvocml._sx277_bo1204203200_8) “It is good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that matters, in the end.”The Left Hand of Darkness by Ursula Le Guin

A spectacular quote from a spectacular book shows that Le Guin knew the power of a well placed “but.” The Left Hand of Darkness is about a lot of things, one of which is growth and change. This quote eloquently states an age-old adage: it isn’t about where you are going, it’s about what you experience on the way. This “but” is a quiet and wise leader that takes the reader’s hand and shows them insight and wisdom into their own lives. It is a “but” that wants you to be happier and live better.

91d-77kn-dl9) “If we die, we die. All men must die, Jon Snow. But first, we’ll live.”A Storm of Swords by George R.R. Martin

It’s fitting that a fantasy epic so replete with death and destruction can make such a poignant commentary on the joys of life. George R.R. Martin weaves a massive tale brimming with the worst facets of humanity. Torture, murder, deceit, backstabbing, and any number of other wrongdoings fill the pages of A Song of Ice and Fire, but through it all, in stark (pun intended) contrast to the woeful world surrounding them, the characters trudge forward and keep a firm grip on those small moments that make them feel alive. This “but” is a forceful commentary on the fleeting nature of life, and a call for Jon Snow and his comrades to seize the day. If you live each day fearful of death, are you really living at all? In response to that question, this “but” shouts a resounding, unequivocal “no.”

8167h8dujnl10) “It may help to understand human affairs to be clear that most of the great triumphs and tragedies of history are caused, not by people being fundamentally good or fundamentally bad, but by people being fundamentally people.”Good Omens by Terry Pratchett & Neil Gaiman

Our final “but” comes to us courtesy of Pratchett and Gaiman and speaks to human nature. In their famous collaborative work, Good Omens, the authors toy with the idea of how circumstance and context sculpt human values and morality. In the book, the authors basically make the case that no one is fundamentally good or evil, but a product of their surroundings and choices. The “but” serves to let you in on the secret of the book and give you insight into humanity. It’s a powerful “but” and one of our favorites.

Well, that’s the full list! We hope you have enjoyed our compilation of the top ten “buts” in fantasy and science fiction. This list was compiled through a combined effort of all of The Quill to Live writers, except for Sean, who badly misunderstood the assignment. His list was undignified, inappropriate, and completely mishandled the subject matter of the piece. I doubt anyone would be interested, but if you want to see his list, you can find an article on the best butts here.

The Neutronium Alchemist – A QTL Discussion

We are back with another audio discussion. This time we are doing book two, The Neutronium Alchemist, in The Night’s Dawn trilogy, by Peter Hamilton. You can find the spoiler-free written review here: Neutronium Alchemist review. The goal of this discussion is to dive a little deeper into the book to better explore what makes them good, bad, and unique. There are a lot of spoilers for the books in these discussions, so if you wish to remain ignorant I recommend you check out the written review. Otherwise, here is the discussion of book two:

And if you are looking for the discussion of book one, it can be found here: The Reality Dysfunction 

Don’t Worry, We’re Still Here!

Fresh content is coming your way!

“But where have you all been?”

Andrew, Chief Contributor/Supreme Quill To Live Leader had an important wedding to attend…and plan. Last week, he tied the knot! And most of our readers/writers have been on the East Coast to celebrate his next chapter. So we’ve been a bit behind, but the good news is we’re back on track!

Starting tomorrow, we’ll be back with new content on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

“What have you been reading?”

Most of us are still head-down in Peter Hamilton’s The Night’s Dawn trilogy. Check out our discussion about the first installment here, and read Andrew’s review of the second one here. Plus, sneak peek—we’re MUCH more divided on book two than we were on book one. More on that to come.

In between the long reading sessions required to plow through a 3000+ page epic sci-fi trilogy, we’re catching up on our personal TBRs. On top of all that, one of us took a three-month plunge into a Kindle-only reading schedule after years as a paper-or-bust apologist. Expect a write-up of that experience in the coming weeks!

What we’re really going for here are a few points:

  1. Thank you for your patience as we were away for a while.
  2. Great content to come, and we can’t wait for you to share your thoughts with us!

Thanks,

The Quill To Live Staff

The Reality Dysfunction – A QTL Discussion

As I mentioned back in my Reality Dysfunction review, we are trying something a little different this year. Here is the first of a series of audio discussions that we will be putting up on the site. The goal is to dive a little deeper into some books to better explore what makes them good, bad, and unique. If you have some time and fancy a listen, take 45 minutes and check out the first ever Quill to Live discussion: