How fitting: my reading goal reached its epic climax this year thanks to a steamy novella about human women gettin’ nasty with hulking blue dreamboats.
That’s right, folks. I hopped on the latest BookTok bandwagon and gave a small slice of the Ice Planet Barbarians book-ematic universe a try. Ruby Dixon’s steamy spicy sci-fi saga made its rounds through TikTok’s bookish community a few months back. Around that time, I received a generous gift from my fellow QTL writers: Ice Planet Holiday, the fifth book in the Ice Planet Barbarians series. Hoe, hoe, hoe, its time for some holiday cheer *wink*.
I’m not an erotic fiction reader. I like my spice in the form of sandy space travel fuel. I like my heat in the form of a dragon’s breath. I like my sex—that’s it… Okay, actually, maybe I should’ve given this a chance earlier.
What began as a half-joking gift book became a silly escape from the ennui for me. Ruby Dixon’s Ice Planet Holiday packages a heap of spicy scenes and comical storylines into a 120-page story. It’s the kind of “shut off your brain and enjoy this” tale that left me smirking.
Georgie and Claire are two of many human women stranded on an ice planet inhabited by sinewy horned beefcakes with massive dongs. Removed from the comforts of home, Georgie and co. decide to plan a holiday. Not Christmas or Thanksgiving. Rather, a generic holiday to celebrate the times they miss most on Earth. Georgie’s mate, Vektal, is also the chief of this community of ice-men. He approves of the idea, allowing Georgie and her friends a little piece of home in a faraway place. Claire, meanwhile, struggles in her relationship with Bek. Bek controls and cajoles Claire at every opportunity, suffocating her with his overbearing demeanor. When she finds a new man willing to court her, she must break things off with Bek…and hope he can take the news with poise and grace.
Of course, none of this really matters. We’re here for the icy spicy goodness contained within. And hoo-boy, was I worried the frozen tundra would melt, making the ice planet an ocean paradise. Ice Planet Holiday opens with a steamy scene, immediately rolling it into another one. Georgie and Vektal certainly enjoy each other’s company, and it shows in Dixon’s writing.
In the aftermath, we’re treated to 50-ish pages of wacky antics, including the planning of the eponymous holiday. The ice planet denizens call it “Not-Poison Day” after learning about the tradition of kissing beneath mistletoe. This leads to a cadre of clueless ice planet hunks showering their mates with random plants to hilarious effect. The human women also teach the barbarians soccer, and they gawk as the dreamboats tackle each other and compete for victory.
Oh, and a bunch of the women are pregnant with ice babies. Georgie included. If you’re like me and diving in mid-series, this storyline will probably not be a major factor in your enjoyment. But if you’re already invested in Georgie’s story, I’m sure you’ll be thrilled with the outcome.
Claire’s story provided the latter spicy bookend. She discovers a new flame, Ereven, and their chemistry bubbles and boils throughout the novella as she cuts ties with Bek. Her spark with Ereven ignites into a full-on conflagration that culminates in multiple climaxes to finish off the book.
There’s a lot I still don’t know about the Ice Planet Barbarians universe—where are the human men? What is a khui? Isn’t it cold?—but as I closed the final page of Ice Planet Holiday I discovered I didn’t care 1) because I haven’t read the other books, which I’m sure answer these questions and 2) because I’m not supposed to care. This is icy spicy content at its finest, and I had a blast reading it.
Rating: Ice Planet Holiday – 69/10
-Cole
